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dissolves instantly [userpic]

who knows what i'm talking about?

January 25th, 2002 (11:32 am)
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current mood: blank

ever think about injuring yourself?... the feel of a cold steel blade piercing your skin. so warm the feeling afterwards....

the thought has crossed my mind more than a few times... i couldn't kill myself... i love life too much, but to have pain in order to bring fourth the reality that is life... or does life provide enough pain to do without this?

Comments

Posted by: springheeled jack (serlenka)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 11:49 am (UTC)
hmmm.... =\

well now, do you want a serious answer to this question from someone who has studied psychology for 10 years and plans on going into the field (even neurotic people can be counselors, believe it or not)? i have not thought about injuring myself in order to heighten the experience that is life. but i know more than a couple of people that have and do. they do it for different reasons, but boiling it all down you end up with people who are looking for attention (with these people). those who do it to heighten their experiences...i believe they lack some observation skills and some participation in what they are doing. you know, the ability to be totally lost in whatever they are doing and forget the rest of the world...and observing everything about it; the sights, the sounds, the smells, the feel. i think if you have a strong ability to connect with what you are doing, injuring yourself would not cross your mind as an option. life provides us all with more than enough pain and stress, so i personally don't believe that pain is the issue here. well, unless it turns you on in some sense. but that's a whole 'nuther ball of wax there - and safer ways to go about that. i personally believe that in 99% of cases where someone cuts on themselves, it is a call for attention. needless to say there are more constructive ways of getting attention, but for some, it is very difficult to ask for certain types of attention or to state that they are hurting, so they find an outlet...cutting. umm, am i being graded on this? well that's my take anyway.

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 12:00 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm.... =\

no grades, just honest opinions :)

Posted by: tallPaul: 492 Peanuts (tallp_ll)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 02:48 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm.... =\

that's just plain bull.
auto-mutilation has been a part of special religious and ecstatic ritual in almost every civiliation on every continent and in every era.
start with the mayans or certain native american tribes and go from there.

Posted by: springheeled jack (serlenka)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:31 pm (UTC)
'nuther one...
smirk...

ahh now wait - first of all, i didn't say that it is why ALL people did it. just because your opinion is not the same as mine does not make my opinion "bull". secondly, i *did* acknowledge that there were other reasons why people did it (including for pleasure). i did not realize we were discussing self-mutilation as a religious custom or ceremony. now while it is true that i did not *mention* religious ceremonies, i was also not talking about 'people' in terms of being native americans or mayan tribal members. i was speaking of the modern american civilation that sahrie and i live in today.

:::steps down from soapbox:::

Posted by: tallPaul: 492 Peanuts (tallp_ll)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 02:52 pm (UTC)

lookie here
--

this is not something advisable if you _are_ doing it just for attention. however, it is a practice that has an incredibly old history.

honestly.. i don't see you as the type (entirely)... but i don't know you that well. it's not something i've ever done. i've known many people who were quite serious about it and.. ironically.. were some of the kindest, most down to earth, well-adjusted people i've known.

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:28 pm (UTC)
Re:

i've done it once before, didn't cut deep enough to leave scars. i didn't pick the scabs either (which i have a bad habit of doing) so... i just passed them off as cat scratches... but that was about a year ago... things change... people... change..... or do they?

Posted by: the mid-doctor (texel)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:32 pm (UTC)

they do, right?

Posted by: springheeled jack (serlenka)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:35 pm (UTC)
tattoo...

last i heard, anyway. =)

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:38 pm (UTC)
Re:

:)

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 03:37 pm (UTC)

just thought i would also say that i don't think i'm that type either... but it does cross my mind every now and again.

Posted by: springheeled jack (serlenka)
Posted at: January 25th, 2002 10:26 pm (UTC)
ehhh....

i don't really think it's any big deal...a lot of things cross a lot of people's minds - but it doesn't necessarily *mean* anything bad or good. it's just kinda there, you know? it's what you do action-wise that makes a difference, since at that point it affects you and those around you. i wouldn't worry about it. =) if you only knew the things that cross *my* mind! i'd be sitting in the electric chair by now. hey wait - what's this funny helmet-thing? why is there a priest here? final words? uh oh.... zzzzzzzzaaaappppp

Posted by: Mark (mark)
Posted at: January 27th, 2002 12:55 pm (UTC)

So much to say, yet no way to word it.
I don't think it is a cry for attention. Rather it is an outlet for depression/anger(or any feeling) that is too intense to be kept inside. I've had times where I didn't want another human around. Wanted to be on my own and purge myself of what it was that I was feeling. That in turn has led to experimenting with self inflicted pain in the past.

Maybe this all sounds like babble to many. I think it is something you have to expierience to understand.

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