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dissolves instantly [userpic]

January 30th, 2002 (09:09 pm)

FAWK!!!

i need to move out
i need to get rid of the car
i need a more simple life.

i absolutely HATE the fact that my parents are so anal with ME. not my sister, oh no, she could do whatever she wants and they still wouldn't bat an eyelash, but when it comes to me, or something i made plans about with them there, then all of a sudden, a week later, it's a problem. agh! wtf!!!

i hate this. it needs to go. i can't stand having a car, i think it has more burdens than benefits. my parents are more than willing to pay for the car, it's gas, it's maintenance, and insurance instead of using that money to help me move out. wtf. all because they want to control me.

i don't know how much longer i will be able to tolerate this/them. i am so sick of doing what they want me to do, or doing things how they think things should be done.

i don't live my life for me, i live it for them. i'm going to the uw because that's what they want me to do. they wanted me to go to college, so i pick the colleges i want to go to, then they say no, you have to go somewhere not as far, not as expensive blah blah blah. so i do things to help destroy my abilities of getting into the uw, and i STILL get in!!! AGH!!.

::sigh:: i just want to be out. i'm going nuts.


and i hate hard feelings, and i don't like people to be mad at me, so i'm gonna do what they want me to do.....................for now...............

i need to get some help. i need to figure out what the fuck i'm doing. because i'm seriously just wasting time and money going to school. i want to be/do something as a profession, but when i sit and think about the reality of things, i probably won't get to do what i want, and i won't be making money off it. i'm not that good.

i should just stay where i'm at and work my way up.

fawk i don't know. this is so much to think about right now.... i'm not the kind of person that likes to give problems the time of day, but the thing is if i don't figure things out now i'll be forever upset.

::sigh::

Comments

Posted by: the mid-doctor (texel)
Posted at: January 30th, 2002 09:16 pm (UTC)

poor babe... i'll help in any way i can... regardless, you know you've got my support no matter what it is you want to do.

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 30th, 2002 09:25 pm (UTC)
Re:

what if i wanna be a stripper???? :P

Posted by: the mid-doctor (texel)
Posted at: January 30th, 2002 09:55 pm (UTC)

well i don't see why not... i mean, if you wanted to work aurora then there'd be issues, but as we all know, there's "no sex in the champagne room"... :)

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 30th, 2002 09:59 pm (UTC)
Re:

ah... hmmmm then..........*goes deep into thought*

Posted by: Mark (mark)
Posted at: January 31st, 2002 08:03 am (UTC)

What happened to photography? You have a great eye for turning the ordinary into an ethereal image. Think you could definantly make a career of it.

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 31st, 2002 02:38 pm (UTC)
Re:

thanks... just feeling a bit down on it lately. i dunno... been seeing some stuff that's really blown my mind.

Posted by: Mark (mark)
Posted at: January 31st, 2002 03:18 pm (UTC)
Re:

Blown your mind as in it is really really good??

If that's the case, why get down? Most of the ppl that do that work have been at for years upon years.

Your work is already of high caliber. The stuff you're seeing should give you something to shoot for and overtake.

Posted by: dissolves instantly (sahrie)
Posted at: January 31st, 2002 03:34 pm (UTC)
Re:

:) that's true... thanks.

i won't give it up... it's just a little discouraging.

Posted by: Mark (mark)
Posted at: February 4th, 2002 11:34 am (UTC)

Was just thinking of this today. When I look at your and eli's work I am astounded. I work to acheive that way of "seeing". Has pushed me to re-examine my methods.

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