January 30th, 2002


so this was in one of my friends journals a few months ago...

and i decided i would fill it out

Number of people...

...on my lj friends list: 36
...who have me as a friend: 39
...whom I've met in person: 16
...whom I've met in person more than once: 16
...whose house I've been to: 10
...who have been to my house: 4
...whose precise geographic location I know offhand: precise = one block radius, 13
...whose full names I know offhand: 9
...whom I've followed/been in touch with for more than 3 years: 5
...who live outside my country: 5
...whose journals I consider myself "addicted" to:
...who frustrate me: most of 'em, at some time or another.
...who I envy: all of them, because everyone has some talent I don't.
...who I've done: 3, 4 if you want to include other stuff
...who I'd do: 1

to bring me love....

la la laaa..... massive attack is grrrrreat!! kinda like crack, but not.

so this weekend i go to san fran. weeee.... i wanna find some things there... like oh, i dunno... drugs drugs and more...drugs? weeeeeee...... yep. *nods head* i also wanna go to a nice club/bar while there. weeeeeee........::sigh:: oh well... i'll see what actually happens.

weddings are either
a) completely boring
b) buckets of fun

i went to this one wedding last year (spring time) and there were SO many younger (acting) people there. i swear, they had an open bar, and most of the people there were 25-35 yrs old (not including the couples family) it was so much fun. i got hit on by this drunk 30 something yr old guy, who
a) made me feel sexy
b) made fuckface super jealous HAHAHAA!!
c) gave me some good advice.
"don't settle"

that can be interperted in many ways, but how i decided to understand it (in the context of being at a wedding) as don't settle for less than you're worth, because at the time i knew i deserved better than what i had (at the time.) it kind of made me think about what i had and why that particular relationship wasn't right. i mean, i knew it wasn't right for a long time, but that was one of those things that just pushed my thoughts even further.

and now i'm here, where i should be, with the person i'm meant for, and who's meant for me. i couldn't be happier. as long as i have leigh everything will be alright. i don't care where i am, how broke i am, as long as he's there with me.

like i said, i would die for the boy.
  • Current Music
    massive attack - mezzanine

(no subject)

i'm a sucker for sexy music. i love anything that's chill and has a good beat.

mayhaps i will take me some pictures tonight.... hmmm.....
  • Current Music
    groove armada - dusk you and me

(no subject)


i need to move out
i need to get rid of the car
i need a more simple life.

i absolutely HATE the fact that my parents are so anal with ME. not my sister, oh no, she could do whatever she wants and they still wouldn't bat an eyelash, but when it comes to me, or something i made plans about with them there, then all of a sudden, a week later, it's a problem. agh! wtf!!!

i hate this. it needs to go. i can't stand having a car, i think it has more burdens than benefits. my parents are more than willing to pay for the car, it's gas, it's maintenance, and insurance instead of using that money to help me move out. wtf. all because they want to control me.

i don't know how much longer i will be able to tolerate this/them. i am so sick of doing what they want me to do, or doing things how they think things should be done.

i don't live my life for me, i live it for them. i'm going to the uw because that's what they want me to do. they wanted me to go to college, so i pick the colleges i want to go to, then they say no, you have to go somewhere not as far, not as expensive blah blah blah. so i do things to help destroy my abilities of getting into the uw, and i STILL get in!!! AGH!!.

::sigh:: i just want to be out. i'm going nuts.

and i hate hard feelings, and i don't like people to be mad at me, so i'm gonna do what they want me to do.....................for now...............

i need to get some help. i need to figure out what the fuck i'm doing. because i'm seriously just wasting time and money going to school. i want to be/do something as a profession, but when i sit and think about the reality of things, i probably won't get to do what i want, and i won't be making money off it. i'm not that good.

i should just stay where i'm at and work my way up.

fawk i don't know. this is so much to think about right now.... i'm not the kind of person that likes to give problems the time of day, but the thing is if i don't figure things out now i'll be forever upset.