February 25th, 2002

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i'm a sucker




What is your meaning of life?


"i could love you forever tonight, cause you're just the thing that i need, just to fill the space he left here, just give me all the love that i need for a night, that's enough for a broken heart, cause you're just the thing that i need..." Paul Mac - Just the thing (stephan alkins mix)

so i went and played pool w/brad last night. ya... he kicked my ass, but i pulled out a few good shots. wOOt! the guys got a lot going on, which is good because that will create room for less boredom and more memories/life experiences. i wish i had something i just knew how to do like him. even though it kinda has made him a spot in life, that he may or may not want, at least he's got one. i don't know what i would do if a job was givin to me where i was doing something i was good at, i mean, i wouldn't pass it by... at least i hope i wouldn't. brad just don't lose touch k? cause you're one of those genuine people out there, and i would seriously ponder your whereabouts and existence if we ever lose touch.

in other news: i've entered a very pensive and self analytical stage in my life. i don't know if it's for the better or the worst, but i sure as hell hope it will make me more productive of an individual. because i believe that is one of my largest shortcomings, and i need to find a way to get over that hurdle. i don't always remember being so... detatched, and..... lazy. i used to get things done right away, i used to buzz around... now i just sortof... let things go. i don't care enough about this that and the other thing. and i don't know why. what exaclty happened that made me lose my sensitivity to caring about certain things in my life? and how can i fix it??

i really want to see a shrink. i want help understanding what happened, and what i can do to fix it. i want to fix it. i want to be how i was. i want to know what i feel. exactly what i feel. why is it so hard for me to identify my feelings? anyone else have this problem?

"i'm losing my favourite game, you're losing your mind again, i'm losing my favourite game..."

i know i've posted this before, but i think it adequately fits my feelings right now



so here i sit. wasting my time. i'm so good at that. can't i get hired to sit on my ass and waste time?

fuck this. i'm gonna get off my ass and get some shit done.
  • Current Music
    the cardigans - my favourite game
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so...

i told myself that as soon as it was 70degrees F for two days in a row i would cut my hair.


the thing is, i don't know if i can wait!
Hat

::sigh::

"it might not be, the right time
i might not be, the right one
but there's something about us, i want to say
'cause there's something between us anyway...

i might not be the right one.
it might not be, the right time.

but there's something about us i've got to do
some kind of secret i will share w/you...
i need you more than anything in my life
i want you more than anything in my life
i'll miss you more than anyone in my life
i love you more than anyone in my life"


what a great song!
daft punk - discovery
  • Current Music
    Daft Punk - Something About Us
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ugh

i can feel allergy season starting.
eye don like idh *achoo* no, nod one bid

it's my house. cause i wasn't having any symptoms at work. that's it. i should move.

i'm gonna quit school.
move out...
work full time
save money
then move to another country.
there!!! that's it!!!

then all my problems will be solved.... riiiiiiiiight.
"no matter where you go, there you are"

sheesh. damn sayings.

according to misty dip shit (aka: mike, or the b/f from the summer) has my money. ::gasp:: i almost passed out when she told me... now if only he will call and get my address and send it to me... that would be SO nice. i called him on Friday, i was gonna grill him, but he didn't answer. i guess he was at work or something. hrm. i have a feeling he will call Wednesday. he owes me 200$ for an airplane ticket i bought him when he was in a pinch. ::sigh:: i do things for people, hoping they will be nice and not assholish and return the favour, pay me back...whatever... maybe he is taking longer than expected? this credit card bill is re.dick.a.less. and i need all the thoughts i can get on this one....so
people, please... i don't care if you are religious or not, PLEASE prey that i get my money back!!!


wine is good....::slurp::....

me go tonight at dantes.

"is this..... is this the real life?...."

so i called my sister around 630, asked her to throw the clothes in the dryer (cause i need some of the pants out of there for tomorrow...) well she says ok, so as i'm getting ready after work, i head out to the garage and guess what the little stoner didn't do. ya... put my clothes in the dryer... now i have to put my night on hold until my clothes are done. :oP.:pfft:. punk ass teeny bopper

"you are what you want, you are what you need..."

wow. see how influenced i am by music? do do do ... la la laa... i can sing for me cha cha...

now a poem.
merlot merlot rhymes with bordeaux
i still don't know how to sew
sometimes i listen to an artist named poe
this poem barely has flow
but know you know
how crazy i am.
hahahahahahahahaa....ahhhhh......okok, i'll stop now.


i should go now before i embarrass myself anymore than i already have.
  • Current Music
    Isolee - Beau Mot Plage
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hot song de jour

T Power vs MK Ultra - Horny M

ouh la la, c'est magnifique!! je voudrais faire quelque chose trs rotique maintenant!!!
  • Current Music
    DJ Tez K - T Power vs. MK Ultra - Horny M