November 14th, 2004


hands are cold

my parents’ house is FREEZING!
I always have to remember to wear extra clothes, or warmer clothes, when I come down here to visit them.
& they say my home is too hot.... but I don't notice that so much.

am I a reptile?
what's with my blood not keeping me warm? I am sure I have enough insulation, I mean, have you seen my ass?
probably not.
I'll save you from that...

I need more muscle. that's what it is. I'm sure of it. I digress....

I had a really bad dream the other night; my parents had died, and I was left with taking care of their house & finances as well as my sister. however, to complicate things, someone was trying to kill me, Andrew & my sister... but I couldn't find any of my dads’ guns.
maybe it would be a good idea for me to find out where he keeps them... & the bullets.
what good's a gun w/out the bullets?? ya sure, I could chuck it at an intruder... but what's a lump on their head gonna do?
only piss 'em off more I'm sure.
a knife would be better me thinks...

screw knifes.
I need a gun.

[how did this transition occur? talking of dreams, now I'm divulging to you my desire to own a firearm...]

at any rate, I had yet another bad dream last night, it was horrible. it's not very often that I awake from bad dreams, but the one I had last night, I actually told myself to wake up... I cannot remember it now.
is that for the better?

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately. Lucky for me I'm not remembering most of them... or is that really so lucky? knowing that I've had them still bothers me, b/c not remembering them makes me wonder what it was that was happening that was bothering me. b/c I've had dreams about maiming people and whatnot, and not woken from those...
hmm... is it that these dreams seem more like reality? whereas the others are completely nonsensical?

doesn't matter.

I wonder what most people live life for... what am I living life for? It's not to die, b/c if it were, I would be a religious zealot... it's not really for money, or children, otherwise I would be more motivated to the possession of both... what is it for; enlightenment?
what I am going to obtain from this that is going to help me? there is something... life offers something for some reason, of which I have yet to figure out.
it will come to me; whether it be in a delusional state pre-death, or either as a highly thought out and scrutinized theory... it will come.

but right now I'm really thinking about being bad & buying that coat & boots... hmm... should I? or shouldn't I?
that is .... the question....?
  • Current Mood
    indescribable indescribable
ummm iced lollie

I am so hot in a wet suit....::gag::...
[in order of appearance, from left to right, my mum, me, my sis, & Andrew]

If I could remember more about the basic “how to”s of HTML I would have displayed that link differently... but the irreversible damage to my brain has made me lose my ability to remember such complexities as that. [sarcasm]

also, check out our gallery, not just the lame pic of me in a wet suit

[I chose 'quixotic' as my mood b/c I think that the little guy who "symbolizes" the mood looks funny... a little quirky & crazy... but... almost on LSD....]
  • Current Mood
    quixotic quixotic