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why is it...

June 28th, 2001 (09:21 pm)
current mood: perplexed
current song: global underground - Paul Oakenfold live in Oslo disk one

that someone I spend most if not all free moments with doesn't see how much I care about them, how much I worry about loosing them as a friend, or even how much they control my heart.

All that is seen is the meager amounts of time I spend on other things.

I feel like I've been hit. No one understands. No one ever will, or even cares to.

There are so many sides to a diamond that one can choose which side they want to see, and it's highly possible that the side you choose to see, isn't the same side that anyone else sees. I think that there is an internal struggle that one must face to see who they really are, or what side fits them the best.

I am SURE that they way some people see me is because they want to see me that way... that they look for certain things I do that would support their view of me.

I only want judgement on one day, and that day has yet to come.


Posted by: Mark (mark)
Posted at: June 29th, 2001 02:40 am (UTC)
Slightly intoxicated

Deep. I've been forced into a situation here over the last few weeks were I have had to face a similiar situation. The world becomes amazingly complex once you care for someone. Is it all meant to teach us something? I guess love can be a blessing, though, at the same time it can also be a curse.

Posted by: The Great And Powerful ed? (tgape)
Posted at: June 29th, 2001 02:40 pm (UTC)

As I cannot speak to any complex situation with the meger smattering of information available in a few journal entries, I'll merely point out that this reminds me of a friend of mine.

It seems, the summer after we had roomed together at college, he called and said, "Ed!  You know how I kept saying I needed a girlfriend?  I just found out I've had one for the past two years!"  Seems she had not used a large enough club until then.

I have no idea if this relates to your situation or not, but it always seemed like a funny (albeit a little depressing) story.

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